Barack OBloga’s “March Madness” Funniest Player Names Ranked

Above is the my Rankings for the Funniest Names of March Madness Players. Here is the list:

10.Coreontae Deberry-I assumed this name was from a Key & Peele “East vs.West Bowl Game” until I saw him play the other night for Cincinnati. Above is the a picture of “The DeBerry” getting smushed. Everyone knows smushed berries don’t taste good and thus consequently, Cincinnati lost in the first round.

9. Daniel Dingle-This Temple basketball player has a very effective offensive strategy. He attempts to look like horror film ghost “Scream”. His ringtone on his phone is “Hot Line Bling” by Drake.

8.Bonzie Colson-This Notre Dame basketball player loves to go to the pool on his off days. Thus, as shown above, Bonzie likes to flail his arms like a pool noodle whenever he misses a shot to think of happy thoughts and keep a positive attitude.

7.OG Anunoby- This Indiana basketball player displays above with precision and perfection, the OG or Original “Low Five”.  Many basketball players use the hand clap gesture commonly known as the “High Five”, but as we all know, OG Anunoby created the “Low Five” and thus plays ball with style.

6.Tres Tinkle- This Oklahoma basketball player is known for his great defensive technique of always having his head on a swivel. Always keeping an eye on the defender and an eye on the bathroom of course.

5.Papa Ndao- This Saint Joseph’s basketball player is known by everyone as the father of basketball. In the Atlantic 10 Championship a couple weeks ago against VCU, Papa Ndao was thrown out for saying something to the referee that wasn’t shared with the public. I am fairly sure that Ndao was thrown out of the game because the referee didn’t believe that Ndao was his father. Thus, with the anxiety of finding his true father, the referee was forced to dismiss his dad from the game as he was so overwhelmed he couldn’t focus on the game. Ndao responded by saying, “See you later son.”

4.Diamond Stone- This Maryland basketball player is rock solid. As shown above, he uses the skill of sticking his tongue out to distract the other team and lead Maryland to victory.

3.Giddy Potts-This Middle Tennessee basketball player has an unorthodox way of playing defense as shown above. He tries to look like an injured crashing bird in flight to distract his opponent. When it works, which is every time, he then soars high to the basket for a dunk after his tremendous steal from wherever he is on the court.

2.Mo Alie-Cox-This Virginia Commonwealth basketball player is my favorite on the list. Have you ever seen him play? If you haven’t, imagine an ox playing basketball. The bad news for Mo is that I heard from a credible source that he is being persecuted for stealing the dignity from George Washington’s big man Tyler Cavanaugh, when he posturized him in one of VCU’s games. You can see the dunk here.

1.Scoochie Smith -This Dayton basketball player is our March Madness Funny Name Champion. Above, Scoochie is shown in his natural habit eying his target, getting ready to “Schoochie” his way over to the cute cheerleader on the sidelines and then proceed to get her number.

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March Madness: CBS NCAA Basketball 2016 Rankings

Here’s how they rank, The Top Ten College Basketball Teams of 2016, by CBS Sports:

1. Michigan State: Tom Izzo has the most valuable player in the game in Denzel Valentine. Bryn Forbes is as dangerous a 3-point shooter as there is in college hoops. MSU not getting a No. 1 seed was ridiculous.

2. Kansas: Have been locked into the No. 1 overall seed for weeks now. The irony is, from a talent standpoint, this isn’t one of Bill Self’s all-time teams. Look for Wayne Selden to try and have a huge tournament, especially after his dunk turned his uncle into the Internet’s most popular fan over the weekend.

3. North Carolina: Everybody’s going to be hot on UNC because the Heels won the ACC’s regular season and the tournament titles. It was the preseason No. 1 team in the eyes of many. Without question, this is looking like one of the four best teams in the nation.

4. Virginia: Malcolm Brogdon is finishing up one of the greatest ACC careers in conference history. Tony Bennett has been picked off early despite really good seeds in recent years. But here’s the difference this time around: Virginia has a much better offense than the past two seasons.

5. Oklahoma: Buddy Hield was the most watchable player in college basketball this season. But OU has much more than Buddy. Isaiah Cousins and Jordan Woodard help comprise the best three-person backcourt in America. Plus, OU still plays good defense. Obviously, the 3-pointer should be a huge factor in how far this team goes.

6. Oregon: Most of the country hasn’t seen more than a game or two from Oregon, but this group has been lighting it up for most of the past two months. Tyler Dorsey is a name to know. Outstanding freshman. Chris Boucher is one of the elite defenders in the game, too. Oh, right, and Dillon Brooks might’ve had the best overall season in the Pac-12.

7. Villanova: Villanova will be doubted again. Just know it has one of the toughest starting fives in the nation, and Josh Hart was one of the 15 best players in America this season. Nova is quite good, people.

8. Maryland: No starting five in this tournament has a higher ceiling than Maryland, but it gets bumped down from the top five because of its inconsistency throughout the season. You couldn’t be faulted for putting this group into the Final Four, though.

9. Kentucky: The Wildcats are always dangerous in this tournament so long as John Calipari is on the sidelines. Jamal Murray is a 3-point-shooting beauty and Tyler Ulis is the best point guard in America.

10. Xavier: Chris Mack was the National Coach of the Year in the eyes of many. There isn’t a team deeper and more spread across the board than Xavier. Don’t doubt them because they haven’t been seeded this high before. This group is good. Trevon Bluiett and Edmond Sumner can be stars.

*If you would like to see all 68 NCAA College Basketball teams ranked by CBS click here

Singing, Sports, and Popular Culture are Related

In music it is very commonplace to use professional athletes in an artist’s song. Here are my Top 5 examples of how an athlete can have an impact on current popular culture at the time when a new song is being released.

5.  Jay-Z rapping about professional basketball players Lebron James and Dwyane Wade.

“City it’s a pity, half of y’all won’t make it
Me, I got a plug Special Ed “I Got It Made”
If Jeezy’s payin’ LeBron, I’m payin’ Dwyane Wade.” -(“Empire State of Mind”2009)

4. Kanye West rapping about professional basketball player Magic Johnson.

“Old folks talking about back in my day
But homey this is my day.
Class started 2 hours ago, oh am I late?
You know I already graduated
And you can live through anything if Magic made it.” -(“Can’t Tell Me Nothing”2007)

3. Drake rapping about professional basketball player Michael Jordan.

“Yeah, I learned the game from William Wesley
You can never check me
Back to back for the ni**as that didn’t get the message
Back to back like I’m on the cover of Lethal Weapon
Back to back like I’m Jordan ’96, ’97.” -(“Back to Back”2015)

2. The Fugees singing about professional boxer Mohammad Ali (Cassius Clay).

“I refugee from Guantanamo Bay
Dance around the border like I’m Cassius Clay.” -(“Ready or Not”1995)

1. Simon and Garfunkel singing about professional baseball player Joe DiMaggio.

“Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio,
Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.
What’s that you say, Mrs. Robinson.
Jolting Joe has left and gone away,
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey.” -(“Mrs. Robinson”1968)

 

 

Top 5 Music Scene Cities

“Since you pretty much never go anywhere anymore without headphones blasting music into your ear holes, a city’s music scene ranks pretty close to its restaurants and bars in terms of cultural goings-on. Some cities birth entire musical genres and hordes of artists, while others act like magnets that bring in eclectic acts from across the nation. Which is why we factored in local acts, historic venues, and explosive festivals to produce this indisputable ranking of the top 5 American cities for music.”-Thrillist

Check out the official “Power Rankings” Here.